Between Waves

When I was little, I remember always longing for a sibling. Most of my friends had brothers or sisters, and sometimes I felt so alone. Because of that, I always knew that when I had children of my own, I wanted at least two.
From the moment you arrived Woody, the bond between you and evelyn was so special. You adored each other from the very beginning.
We had our little girl, our little boy, and our hearts were full.
Being your mum gave me the chance to truly shine as a mother. You challenged me, changed me, and shaped me into a stronger person. You gave my life such deep purpose. You made me braver, more patient, and stronger than I ever knew I could be.
I was made to be your mum, and I will always feel honoured that I got to be yours.
From the very beginning, you needed me in a way I had never been needed before. You gave me such a strong sense of purpose. While my evelyn has always been fiercely independent, confident and strong in her own beautiful way, you were my little shadow. You were attached to my hip and wanted me for everything and I secretly loved being so needed by you.
Despite everything you went through in your life, you remained such a happy, loving little soul. You faced more than most people ever should, yet you still brought so much joy to everyone around you.
People would often say how strong I was, but the truth is, I was only strong because you were my strength. You was my inspiration every single day.

Recently, you had really started to grow into your own little person. You were beginning to separate from me a little more, becoming more independent and confident enough to go places without me. But no matter how long you had been gone, even if it was only to the corner shop, you would run straight back to me, throw your little head full force into me, wrap your arms around me, and give me the biggest smile proudly showing me what you had bought.

Woody you brought so much love, light, and strength into our family. You truly completed us.
I think one of the most amazing things about you Woody was how deeply your love shone through you. Everyone who met you could feel it. There was just something so special about you. I miss everything about you

The heartbreak of losing you is impossible to put into words. Every day the reality of you not being here feels heavier and harder to carry.
Everything now is a first without you.
Every day feels wrong.
The world feels quieter.
Our home feels emptier.
And there are moments where the pain feels unbearable.

But I know time will keep moving forward, even when I wish it would stand still. And somehow, we have to keep moving with it.

Woody, I just hope you continue to give me the strength to carry on. I will always be looking for your signs.
I will carry you with me in everything I do, for the rest of my life.
You will always be spoken about.
You will always be loved.
And you will always be part of us.

You are deeply loved forever and always, my beautiful boy. Mummy x